Sumy, a Ukrainian border city, lives under constant shelling that destroys houses, schools, and hospitals. Despite the tragedies and losses, its residents continue to work, study and support each other.
Hanna, a 63-year-old resident of Sumy, knows the pain of loss. Her daughter died of a serious illness, leaving her little granddaughter an orphan. Hanna's parents passed away one after the other, and her husband needs constant care due to his illness. She became the one on whom everyone relied, but she lost touch with herself in the endless circle of care.
When her 15-year-old granddaughter began preparing to enter a university in another city or even another country, Anna perceived that inevitable separation as another loss. She was worried that she would no longer be able to protect her granddaughter. The first meetings with the psychologist became a space for Hanna where she could not hide her tears. That safe space allowed her to share what she had kept inside for so long.
“The path to wholeness is not about escaping pain but living with it. Hanna's anxiety gained a voice, and thus began to lose its uncontrollable power”, the psychologist explained. Hanna began to acknowledge her pain and allow herself to live through the losses that had long remained unspoken. Working with unexpected and irreversible losses was especially important, as they shaped the woman's emotional state. Together with the psychologist, she gradually reconsidered the beliefs that prevented her from paying attention to herself.
She learned to ask herself such important questions as “What do I need now? How can I support myself?” She began to find time for herself, e.g., a walk in the park, a cup of tea in silence, and a few minutes to read a book. Those small rituals brought back a sense of joy and harmony.
Eventually, Anna noticed that when she started taking care of herself, her anxiety gradually decreased. Her words at the end of therapy were simple but meaningful, “I am starting to live and fill my life with life”.
“True self-care is more than momentary pleasures. It is an internal decision to take care of yourself, even when it is inconvenient. It is the ability to understand your needs and meet them. It requires attention and is not always easy. But every small step is an investment in the future and the ability to live a full life even amid chaos”, the psychologist says.
The psychological support Hanna received affected not only her condition but also her granddaughter's future. Having learnt to cope with her fears and anxieties, Anna was able to support the girl during an important time in her life. Working on herself has allowed her to maintain and strengthen their bond, setting an inspiring example of love and support.
The assistance to Hanna was provided within the framework of the project “Emergency Aid for the Population, Communities and Institutions Affected by the War in Ukraine” implemented by the NGO Girls in cooperation with Help - Hilfe zur Selbsthilfe with the financial support of the German Federal Foreign Office.
