For many internally displaced people, adapting to new communities becomes a period of reassessing life priorities. Viktoriia has been living in another community for four years. For a long time, she considered her life quite stable: she successfully graduated from university, found a job and was in a long-term relationship. However, for a very long time, Viktoriia made decisions based on other people’s expectations and acted according to a script imposed on her, because “you have to listen to your elders.”
The idea that she could choose her own path came to her after she attended an event held by the NGO Girls mobile team. This event began the process of her internal changes.
“Every time the NGO Girls team came, I tried to attend their events. And it was thanks to these meetings that I gradually began to change. I increasingly understood that I was living this life not for myself, but so that the people around me would feel good. I was not listening to myself,” Viktoriia recalls.
The professional approach of the organization’s specialists and individual work with psychologist Nadiia helped the young woman understand her own needs more clearly. The psychologist provided her with the support she needed while changing her field of work, which allowed the young woman to believe in her own strength and find employment in a place that provides not only financial stability, but also respect and professional growth.
The next stage was the decision to end the relationship that had lasted since she was 16. As Viktoriia’s financial and personal independence grew, a significant difference in life goals and level of responsibility emerged between the partners. Instead of support, the young woman felt constant pressure and felt that her aspirations were being diminished.
The final push for change came during one of the NGO Girls group events, when, while working with metaphorical cards, Viktoriia noticed a phrase that became decisive for her: “If you hold something too tightly, it stops breathing. Perhaps the moment has come to loosen your grip.”
Having recognized the destructive nature of this relationship, Viktoriia made the decision to end it. Despite the initial emotional difficulties, she overcame this stage by relying on a phrase she had heard during consultations: “It will not always be like this.” Within just a few weeks, the young woman felt that her psychological balance and confidence were being restored.
Today, Viktoriia describes herself as a confident person who knows how to assert her own boundaries and make independent decisions. She expresses gratitude to the NGO Girls team for helping her reassess her life priorities, emphasizing that the organization’s work divided her life into “before” and “after.”
“I feel internal changes and continue to discover a new version of myself. And I really like it. Now I can: say ‘no’ when I do not want something, because I was taught to assert my personal boundaries; express my opinion and not be afraid of judgment, because I was taught not to stay silent; provide for myself independently, because I was taught not to be afraid to take a step forward. Now I feel like a beautiful, confident woman. And I know for sure: I will never again tolerate violence against me!” Viktoriia shares.
The project: “Strengthening access and service provision for SRH and GBV support among conflict-affected women and girls in eastern and southern Ukraine” in collaboration with the international humanitarian organization CARE, with the support of the Federal Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Germany.
